___ days.

I don't know if it's just me, but I think it is absolutely crazy that January is already pretty much half way over. Before I know it, it'll be time to take naps by the pool instead of cuddled up in a cheetah blanket while trying to avoid any human interaction with my roommates.

I've been feeling extra nostalagic these days, which really sucks because I love St. George and everything it has to offer, but it just isn't what I was expecting at all and I still have about four more months to go until I can start another chapter in my life. When I think about everything I've already experienced, it makes me feel a little better, especially when I think about the month I'm in, in general.

In honor of it being the sixteenth of January and I really didn't have a 'resolution', but then I realized that it's been sixteen days since I've had McDonalds or any type of fast food in general(besides Del Taco, but those tacos have my heart and I'm not going to stop going), which is a really bad thing to be happy about, but here I am, not eating chicken nuggets, with half of a resolution sixteen days later.

On the fifteenth day of January, I decided I wanted to try new things; things to make myself a better person mentally and physically. I went for a run, did some squats and today, with the most sore legs possible, I don't understand what I was thinking. I even ate a salad instead of pizza and am planning on going on a little hike tomorrow morning. It's actually kind of amazing how ideas that you carry out can make you feel better. (My idea of 'morning' is like, noon, so we still haven't gotten better at waking up just yet, and an update on if the hike even happened or not should be in order.)

On Wednesday the fourteenth, after I did a whole lot of nothing good pertaining to my life and drank more iced coffee that any human should, I decided that when I move back up north this summer, I'm going to find the cutest apartment in the middle of downtown Salt Lake and decorate it how I've always wanted to. I love my mom and living with her, don't get me wrong, but do you even know how hard it would be going from living by yourself for a year to having rules to abide by again? Hopefully my new roommate up there knows how to do dishes and like to adventure.

I came to college to find my 'path of life' and here I am, two semesters in and I still have absolutely no idea what I want to do for my career. I took an education class and as the thirteenth rolled around and it was my first day of that class, I had already signed up to go prospect a special education class before the semester ends and I'm actually super stoked. If you know me, you know that my heart belongs to all the down syndrome kids and I watch entirely too much Criminal Minds in my free time. Maybe this experience will give me at least an idea of what I want my future to look like.

Everyone was freaking out about their second semester starting and so here comes Monday the twelfth, the first day, and I had a yoga class. Just one class... and it is yoga. I don't know if I'm just really doing this whole college thing right, but Monday morning yoga sounds like I know my stuff. Have fun, everyone else! I'm going to be finding my inner self and then taking a nice nap.

I've been thinking about what I need as a person a lot and on Sunday the eleventh, I decided I've been doing a lot of things I'm not proud of. As an eighteen year old girl, I go to people with every intent that they want to build me up as a person and genuinely get to know me, like how I want to with them. More than I'd like to admit, these experiences leave me feeling worse than I did before they happened; stumbling over the guilt of the terrible person I believe myself to be. Going back to Sunday, that was the day that I realized I'm the only one who can change what I don't like, and it's almost Sunday again, and now I'm realizing what a long process it is going to be, but I'm not going home with regret and remorse anymore, no matter who or what I lose in the process.


On a brighter note, I started reading again and I forgot how much I love books.


taliajune;