Well that's how I feel right now.
Maybe it's because over the past couple of weeks, I've been told numerous times how big of a disappointment I am and how I have thrown my life away in a matter of minutes. (The reason for these disappointments is because I got a tattoo... I know, I'm confused too.)
I just wish I could stand on a lunch table surrounded by my haters like I'm in High School Musical but instead of singing, I would tell everyone who is currently doubting me
WATCH ME.
(I wish I could add 'bitches' in there to emphasis more, but I don't want my mom to yell at me.)
Here's the thing.
I've never given anyone a reason to doubt me or my future.
I got good grades, was on track to graduate the whole time(except that gym credit I almost didn't get... but we don't talk about that), I got accepted into the two colleges I applied to, got a $10,000 scholarship, and I'm 99% sure of what I want to major in starting this upcoming fall.
Sooo tell me where you saw my future completely destroyed?
Funny story, actually. (not really.)
I was set on going to Dixie ever since the first time I visited St. George, so like since I was eight. That was my plan starting out my senior year of high school... then I visited Westminster because they kept calling me and bothering me. I unfortunately fell in love. Looking at my ACT score and GPA, it was very unlikely that I was going to be accepted to such a prestige, private school, but I tried anyways and submitted an application. (My GPA is a low 3.5 so don't think I like suck at life a lot. I'm pretty cool, I just can't take tests.) So one October afternoon I came home from school for lunch and a huge packet was waiting for me in all its purple, Westminster College glory. Already receiving a million things from them anyways, I opened it without any excitement... to find an acceptance letter and a $10,000 scholarship with my name on it. I WAS SO PUMPED. I had it all planned out to attend the fall semester. I met with advisers and answered millions of phone calls because that school LOVES to call. Then one day I decided to go to an overnight retreat at Dixie with my best friend. I was set on attending Westminster, so I payed the non-refundable $200 payment to reserve my spot A DAY before I left to St. George and guess what happened? I of course found my hidden away love for Dixie and now, $200-less, that's where I am going in just a few weeks.
So long story even longer but here is the point; I have figured out that I only applied to Westminster to prove to myself that I could be accepted and a part of something so big and difficult. I needed that satisfaction for myself. Even though I'm not attending Westminster this fall, just being accepted there is one of my biggest accomplishments and it sucks because Dixie is so looked down on and everyone thinks I'm going there just to party, that they don't see the ambition I have for my future and the goals I've set for myself.
Of course everyone only sees that I'm going to a lower ranked school and apparently my tattoo has ruined not just my life, but everyone's as well.
SO I'M GOING TO BE GIVING A BIG 'EFF YOU' TO EVERYONE IN A FEW YEARS.
Except for a few people and my chai tea. You guys are the real MVPs.
*says as a single tear rolls down my cheek*
taliajune;
ps. My tattoo is an arrow and it means to just aim forward and not look back... it's not a satanic ritual or something.
pps. Westminster is trying everything to get me to come back to them... they even lowered my tuition drastically. They want me. *raises eyebrows*
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