Hi, I'm Talia and I have...

A SHOPPING ADDICTION.

Here I am, sitting in my English class last week, and we get assigned to read an article on anything that we choose. As my professor is talking, all I could think about was how I really wanted to go to Victoria's Secret because it's been a while. (Keep in mind that my class is literally at 8 am. Who thinks about VS that early in the morning?) So being my somewhat brilliant self, I decided I am going to do my article on shopping/shopping addictions. 

Here's a few fun facts:

Shopping addictions aren't about buying something in particular that you want. They are about spending money to feel accomplished.

Schizophrenics have a higher chance of creating a shopping addiction because they may need to buy something to ward off aliens that are coming for them. (I love schizophrenia.)

Shopping Addictions are in full swing right now because everything is there at the touch of your finger with Smart Phones and online shopping.

Shopping has the same affects of drug abuse. (I really have no idea if I used the right 'affect'.)

Shopping addictions are categorized under OCD.

Okay, Doctor Talia. Why are you diagnosing yourself with a shopping addiction?

Well, first of all, I really don't have that much money, but sometimes I go to the mall just because I have any. There is really nothing new I need to buy, I just feel this need to buy something. So obviously my wallet and I don't particularly like the mall. (We love it.)
Secondly, I have some OCD ticks and I really just shop because I'm bored and love clothes. I don't know how that is categorized under the same thing as locking the door multiple times or alphabetizing everything, but whatever. Add that to the list!
I also do this fun thing where I hoard all my clothes, then one random day I decide to clean my closet and I have no room for anything new, but for some reason, I just can't part with my babies aka shirts and pants. We have a strange bond that can't be explained nor denied.
So obviously I'm not schizophrenic, but if I was, those aliens wouldn't be getting to me and all my gear that I bought because I have a shopping addiction. TRY AGAIN, ALIENS.

Here are a few things on the bright side:

I will never have to do cocaine or meth because I already shop and that releases the same chemicals. You're welcome, mom. I won't pick at my skin and twitch constantly.

I never online shop because I can't wait the whole 3-4 days to get that cute shirt, so I'm not racking up the credit card bills. You're welcome, bank and Talia's wallet. 

I have 'clothes hoarding' so at least I'll always have something to wear. Unless my house burns down or I decide to become a nudist, which I've highly considered. Who even likes pants?

I'm boosting the economy. You're welcome, Obama. *hair flip*

So, I may or may not really have a shopping addiction, I just love getting new clothes. Let's just not call Intervention on me because it's really not that serious. I've seen Drugs Inc. Those hot messes need more help than I do. 

Let's all take a moment and thank the good ole town of St. George, Utah for having a disgrace of a mall and saving me hundreds of dollas. Now I can spend all day hustlin' because 

 taliajune;

ps. I don't know if this is OCD, but I always get this strange excitement every time I see a polygamist down here. I like, love them. 

Why am I such a creep?